The Hardest Things That Have Kept In my Heart For So Long

Things that i always wanted to ask and say it out for so long is the hardest things that i couldn't imagine.When i was in primary school i had no burden , had no sisters , and had no boyfriend.It was so fun being a kid.No worries at all.I wish i could reverse back to the past.Althought,primary school it's fun but there surely arguements too.Those arguements ain't a problem.There were of course kids arguing,fighthing and loads of stupid things.I am the one who i've made loads of stupid things in school.I act like a moron BUT i dont care anymore cause now i'm been moved to my secondary life.When i was in form 1 i joined in a group of Cheerleading.I belong to the green team and from there i've met lots of mature friends that they are 2 years older than me.In the first place,I'm so glad that they are my friends.One of them is my primary old friend.We are like a great sisters.We plan everything together.We go out together.We share our problems together.We never betray each other before not even once.So,later on,in the green team two of them that is 2 years older than me had become my GOD sister.I was so happy at first.Everyday when i look at them i feel so excited.I feeling like wanna put my life on them.I'm thinking to joke and play around with them but years after years things are DIFFERENT.Untill when im in form 3 things had become more different.I had argued with my long lasting friend.We didn't talk for at least half a year untill when i'm in form 4 and she's in form 5 now.We finally had some conversation.I said sorry to her and everything.Actually,she felt the same way like i am.She also wanted to deal with this problem BUT she said she had no idea since i start first so we should work things out.The day before wednesday,she called me out.So on wednesday we went out and we enjoy it BUT there is something different.She became so rude.She speaks rude words all the way.I was so surprised/shocked.I keep asking her not to say it again and again but she ain't listening.Untill a day one of the co-workers fall for me.He said she gave him my number.On christmas eve we are on a date.We were together for 2 or 3 weeks then we broke off.He didnt trust me.His friends keep saying my back words to him AND the most i cant believe is , my best sister betray me.T____T .When i knew that she treats me like this.My tears cant stop dropping from my eyes untill the next day,i went to school and asked her and end up we aregued again.We will never gain back as i thought and from now onwards she is no longer in my heart.Since that she had betrayed me . i've always so sensitive with friends and siblings(GOD).BUT,there is someone that always make me smile when i see her.I just want to let you know.I dont know why are you so important to me.Eventhought,i've argued with you,it wont take a long time for me to angry you or what.I just so confused with you.Is it everybody that are older than me could never understand me and treats me like a kid ?? You guys just keep saying i'm so childish..but it's part of my life.If i lost it.There wont be a REAL me anymore.So i just want to know.Am i just as tiny as an ant in your heart?? You know what,you have been so important in my life.If i lose you i don't know what could have happened to me.Maybe , you will think this is so childish but it is not as easy as you thought.It's not easy to forget someone important.When you really need her/him in your life then you will feel the hardness of the feeling.I don't care if it's funny or what but i know everytime i keep asking you all those stupid things "am i still your little sister" or bla bla bla.I just want to let YOU GUYS KNOW , SISTERS ARE IMPORTANT TO ME !! I CAN TRUELY TELL YOU IT'S MORE IMPORTANT COMPARED WITH MY FAMILY !! PLEASE UNDERSTAND WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY.It's not easy to be me. .Lastly,i want you to know that i've been caring you and worrying you since i met you. .Boyfriends are not important.Love wont be so important.If there are sadness with you,FRIENDS and SISTERS will be the one who will be always supporting you and will be always by your side.This is what i can really express out myself.