Do i actually don't love him anymore?

I'm feeling so out of confidence.Does my heart really don't need him ? Why did we end so fast? Is that a fade? When i saw you with my first eyes,i felt i had a crush on you.Later on,when i slept i dreamt about you.Suddenly you told me you dreamt about me too.After that we were in a relationship.I was really believing in fade at that time.I thought he is my true love but we end up at 9 days.I'm really happy when i with him but i'm really sad when we broke.On the past 9 days he gave me a birthday present.It is a pen.After we broke.I was thinking whether should i return the pen to him? I'm not willing to return him back but i have to! I believe that all of those things are the punishment for me.I'll have to take it.