Finally she's back to me.

At last , she is back to me but she's totally different right now.When i talk to her i feel that she talks like a gangster.Everytime wanna go to club.Who changes her untill like that?? I really want to see her old person.I'm really regret that why i would so stupid untill the last time i said it out that i wont call her as my sister anymore.It makes her become untill like that.If i got a chance one day i would really risk my life for her.I just want her to be normal.Why ?!! She's an intelligent girl.Why can she becomes like this.I WANT TO SEE HER NORMAL PERSON AND NOT THAT FUCKING DAMM PERSON!! PLEASEEEE. . . .

I think i dont have that luck to be with you.

Sisters,Brothers or whatever! I lose everything i got ! Why cant i be cared by my sisters?? Why must i be so NERD!!?? I really cant forgot about you all.When i see you i feel i'm so happy but because of you my life only can be so COMPLICATED.I can do everything to you because you are my sister but why i cant feel that caring from you?? Everytime i feel i'm so lonely and i miss you a lots.Everytime I said i miss you and you said you miss me too but does it really come from your true heart or you just want me to be HAPPY?? I hate LIARS!! I really dont have that idea to forgot you.If i lose you i feel i wont be so happy like i always did.I just want you to be happy and when i need someone to talk to you can always be side me and support me.When i recall the sadness from my brain,i really want to kill myself.I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU WANT TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS !!! I TREAT YOU AS MY BEST SISTER BUT WHY DONT YOU TREAT ME AS THE SAME WAY THAT I DID !!! ??? IS THAT SO HARD FOR YOU?!! BOYFRIENDS KILL EVERYTHING!!! THEY CHANGE ALL OF MY BESTIE EVENTHOUGH MY SISTERS"S LIFE!!!!! HRRRRGGG!!! I'M REALLY SUFFER.Day by day i try to forgot everything and try to stand for everything but i CANT!! WHY IS THE GOD TREATS ME SO BAD!! WHY DID I DO TO YOU ?!!!! WHY ARE BAD GUYS GET EVERYTHING THEY WANT BUT WHY GOOD GUYS CANT GET ANYTHING?? I HATE THIS WORLD!!!!

~What a happy day~16-17.10.09

Wow! What a wonderful day.Haha.At first my cousin sister ,her husband and her baby and me want to go for a swim at hard rock hotel.Actually they thought walk in the hotel can settle already but that isnt so easy.Haha.When we ask is there any available room for us the guys that work at the counter said that are no empty room anymore but i didnt feel any upset.Haha.Maybe i'm too happy.End up we stay in Park Royal hotel.Woohoo!! It was fun!!! The room was huge! Wow! At night i drank beer.hahahahahaha....but the beer spoils my face.Soo sad. I was so worried about my face but luckily it cured.wakakaka.. The next morning when i woke up i change into my swimsuit then my cousin sister's husband brought me down to have a swim. After that we go up to the hotel and take a bath and that's the time for us to prepare to checked out.That's the end of the story.

I'm out of energy

Today (9.9.09) is a good day actually.Everyone said that cause is 9.9.9.haha but i'm not really in a good mood.I have a friend that don't dare to scold people,don't dare to say for her rights and not smart to poeple.A guest should wait the owner to ask and serve but she doesnt.She just keep say i cant go i cant go but she never ask me to go untill her cousin ask me to go she only say ok.Honestly i'm really sad that i have this kind of friend.Sometimes i'm happy too but sometimes her attitude make me very angry and sad !!! I don't know why.I thought she is my best friend but..........???(sigh) How am i going to change her attitude.?

Do i actually don't love him anymore?

I'm feeling so out of confidence.Does my heart really don't need him ? Why did we end so fast? Is that a fade? When i saw you with my first eyes,i felt i had a crush on you.Later on,when i slept i dreamt about you.Suddenly you told me you dreamt about me too.After that we were in a relationship.I was really believing in fade at that time.I thought he is my true love but we end up at 9 days.I'm really happy when i with him but i'm really sad when we broke.On the past 9 days he gave me a birthday present.It is a pen.After we broke.I was thinking whether should i return the pen to him? I'm not willing to return him back but i have to! I believe that all of those things are the punishment for me.I'll have to take it.

A Weirdo Sister

I'm really tired.I've already tried all my best to be a happy girl and never think so much but she really makes me crazy.In the school today(aug 19.2009) I saw her with a group of friends.She saw me but she keep hiding from me like avoiding something from me.I don't really bother about that.The worst and sad thing is on my birthday,she never wish me!! That's very sad you know that? I really want to know whether did i do anything wrong to her ?? I really want to know !! My question is DID I DO ANYTHING WRONG TO HER?!!!!! When i didnt see or receive her wish i feel that in her heart i'm not exists anymore.I'm giving up now.I'm too tired of friends and SISTERS !!!! I HATE EVERYONE !!! MY LIFE GOES BACK TO THE SAME SITUATION.

Friends Really Making Crazy

People said to me that be good to people you will get back the good things that you have done to them,but i don't really get it.What i have done to that person and what i can receive back is just A PIECE OF SHIT.Is that what they mean?Can anybody explain everything to me?They don't really understand my feeling.They don't know what i want.I just want their care.I want my friend to be the first person who can cares for me always but do THEY??I'm really disappointed with them.I try not to think to much bad impression about them but they make me lose all the confidence.WHAT CAN I DO?What can i do to make them care for me?I'm really confused.

I Miss My Aussie's Family.

I'm wondering when i can be at Australia.I miss my Mum,Dad,Vicky and Kim a lots.I want to see them.I want to hug them.I want to kiss them.I miss them so much.When can i visit them? Hmm...I'm so happy that i can talk to them through Msn.They very less online.The happiest thing is i can chat with MUM !!! Oh my God !! I'm soooooo soooooo sooo happy!! I wish i can talk to her face to face ONE DAY !

(13.6.2009)-The Worst Day I ever Had

I am getting weird now.I don’t know why.I just feel regret to what i did.I know i was wrong all of the time.I have been trying to be good but once i’m too good to them ,they will step up on my head.I’m really confuse.I don’t know the way to treat my friends.Can anyone teach me ? I really need some one to care for me.Everything i did to my friends,they just don’t appriciate it.They forgot everything.I don’t know why i want to treat them so good rather than my family ? Now i lost all of my friends even my god sisters.I want to know whether is it my problem or their problem.All i wish is i could make my friends happy.I don’t mean to quarel with them.I think i have to restart everything into a new life.I think everything i do,it wont be wrong again.